The Lying Nazi Bullshit Diesel was really picky about which diesel you put in it. I once stopped at a corner station in Tucson -- 3 hours later the Lying Nazi came to a coughing halt.
The dealer said it had "dirty diesel" -- like it's AC/DC (dirty diesel done dirt cheap). Apparently diesel can mold in the tank, and mold clogged the Lying Nazi's turbo jets.
So I used the same 7-11 (or is it a Circle K -- who the hell knows) in Gilbert where all the landscapers filled their trucks. Me and my little girly VW in line with all the heavy trailers -- just slightly emasculating.
That's why I was generally pissed off every time I went to the gas station. It just reminded me of how screwed I was with that bullshit diesel.
One day, they closed the pumps. I had to drive halfway down the I-10 and fill up at one of the trucks stops in Eloy. I could feel my penis shrivel as I pulled my little VW between two tracker-trailers.
When the pumps re-opened, they had a new feature. In the middle of the pump was a screen. Every time you turn the pump on, the screen came on.
It's literally called "Gas Station TV.” They have little infomercials with a few quick hits of sports and news. God-damnit how do I get away from these fucking invasive ads.
I'm so sick of beer commercials and dick pills on the tennis channel. If I watch CNN it's just a litany of prescriptions and side-effects for shit they expect me to have -- from diabetes to cancer.
For the first few weeks, I was just fuming as I filled the tank and tried to figure out how to get away from Gas Station TV. It was like the Mona Lisa -- it's little screen eyes followed me around the car as I washed the dead bugs off the windshield. I swear it had a sensor and when I moved further away it turned up the sound.